i’m reading back over my handful of Yelp! reviews for all the places i’ve patronised across the USA, and i realise that this one word finds its way into almost all of them. a lack of pretense is a quality that i value greatly. if you can provide a pleasant food experience without coming across as if no one does it better than you, you’ve won points in my book.
this was not the case with “Rubicon Estates,” the newly-minted former Niebaum-Coppola Winery in Napa Valley. last Thursday’s spectacular trip to Sonoma and Napa with my visiting mother was soured, thanks to this dynamic duo. i will share my Yelp! review in full so you may get the jist of the experience:
I add my voice to the disenfranchised hoi polloi who have also found themselves shafted by the newly “refined” Rubicon Estate, which, as far as I’m concerned, can rot in hell.
After touring several other far superior Napa and Sonoma wineries with my visiting mother, I pulled into that familiar driveway, tingling with anticipation about being able to show my mother the desk from The Godfather, and an overall beautiful Napa estate building.
As we pulled in my mother squealed that there was “complimentary valet parking.” The pockmarked, teenage valet asked if I had been here before, to which I replied with a resounding “Yes!” as my mother began to make her way into the house. Then he asked me, “Have you been here since we became Rubicon Estates?” I had to answer no.
He then explained that there was a $25 “entry fee” that included a guided tour (I can do it myself, thanks – not like I’m here to steal Coppola’s crap), parking (an empty parking lot lay before us – it’s bloody Napa Valley, not Brooklyn on a Sunday morning), and a tasting (not that I wanted to come and drink his wine, which tastes like Juicy Juice gone bad and makes Mondavi seem like Dom Fucking Perignon).
Sad to see that these folks had to jack up the price to tour the grounds since they can’t sell any of their lousy wine. I hope to be able to buy this place one day and make it into something meaningful.
If I could give it zero stars, I would. Stay the hell away.
despite their ineptitude, our experience in the wine country was overwhelmingly positive, as was the week with my mom. we had some fine champagne and Spanish almonds at Gloria Ferrer and sat for an hour on a quiet veranda in the sun, overlooking the valley and contemplating the infant olive trees that are beginning to make California look like Italy.
my mother was surprised that over the course of a week we hadn’t consumed an ounce of meat, just fish and pasta. i guess it hasn’t phased me at all, considering it’s not meat that this place builds its reputation on:
all in all my mother enjoyed her stay here, and i think she has begun to understand why i made the trip when i did, and why this is where i’ve ended up for the time being. she would even have elected to stay, had she not committed to working the next couple of weeks, and i really wouldn’t have minded at all. after all, we share a pensive quality that goes beyond words:
