i’m annoyed at how sucky contemporary christmas music is. why is it all plainly despondent or sappy crap? there was a time when christmas music was beautiful, or joyful, or both, and quite frankly i think that is how it should always be, whether secular or sacred. think run, run rudolph and silent night.
so christmas came and went and this year i feel more detached from the season than ever. it is moments like this that i realise my life is really stuck in purgatory right now. i will be escaping that very shortly.
every year after christmas i generally lie awake in my bed pondering what it all means. i generally permit my hyperactive mental juices to saturate my cerebellum a little more than usual, since methinks this is sort of the purpose of this holiday, to reflect on what it signifies, again, both secularly and spiritually. this season i’ve read Saramago’s The Gospel According to Jesus Christ, a critical take on Christ’s life and ministry through the eyes of a socialist skeptic. i’ve also begun reading the Gnostic gospels and the Apocrypha, or sacred texts omitted from the “orthodox” Bible in an attempt to gain a wider understanding of how Christ was perceived in the early days of his nascent faith. those who know me well know that i am spiritual, but not religious, and my interest in religion is a strong academic one at heart. nonetheless i ordinarily delve into the christmas spirit, and this year has proved more difficult to do so.
but lying awake here at nearly 2 AM anticipating the sun to rise on Boxing Day, family having departed and mentally preparing to head several thousands of miles away back to my other home once again, after having bounced from a week in Washington, D.C. back to New Jersey, i’m reminded that the spirit of the season requires us to step away from ourselves and into the hearts of others. this makes me feel the pain that my family feels each time i leave and go further away, and it does not make living any easier. but despite the pain i must seek to understand how they feel; i must look at it through their eyes and hearts, or else risk creating a rift of selfish misunderstanding between us.
look, we are all a little selfish, and perhaps we need be to preserve our own lives and mental stability, for which we must assume the primary charge if they are to be truly “our” lives. and from a social perspective, it’s true that we cannot help others if first we cannot help ourselves. but we bear a responsibility to one another, and selfishness does not serve that duty well. christmas reminds us that we ought to think about what we can and should do for others in our lives and beyond. it’s a time for us to stop talking and start listening, and to maybe put aside our seemingly impenetrable priorities to be there for someone in need. it’s a time for us to remember those without whom we would not be who we are, but also to appreciate others for who they are and what they’re about. a time a shepherd lets rest his flock so he can go and watch over a little child sleeping in a barn, while he ponders who this child is and what he will amount to.
merry christmas to all, and to all a good night.
Tags: Christmas
